We each have heard the term optimism. It’s not simply thinking positively. It’s a frame of reference, a story, of how we view the world and situations around us. Our language is so powerful in helping us tell our stories in our lives and can make a drastic difference is how one’s outcome is to a particular situation.
Here’s an example: If life could be graded, Anthony would give his an F. His work has been really stressful lately, his closest colleague has just left the company, he was transferred to another department, and he hates himself for the extra 50 pounds he’s carrying. Anthony feels hopeless and his life seems depressing and dark. Each setback reinforces his feelings of pessimism and grim certainty that nothing ever gets better. .
On the other hand, Barbara has many of the same struggles: her husband just lost his job, seven months after the birth of their first child. In addition to her full-time work responsibilities, she is responsible for her elderly mother, who is becomingly increasingly frail. To make things worse, her business has just had to let someone go so she is in the process of hiring again. Despite all this, Barbara gives her life a strong B+ and knows there are some A+ days ahead.
Unlike Anthony, Barbara sees her setbacks as temporary obstacles to be overcome. To her, crises are part of life, opportunities for her to gain in wisdom and courage and learn to navigate life’s journey.
Put simply, some people are optimists and others are pessimists. However, optimism isn’t an accident—it’s a SKILL that CAN BE LEARNED, one that can help us feel better and greatly improve our lives.
Martin Seligman, psychologist and clinical researcher, has spent 25 years studying optimism and pessimism. In his bestselling book, How to Change Your Mind and Your Life, he states that pessimistic thinking can undermine not just our behavior but our success in all areas of our lives.
“Pessimism is escapable,” he writes. “Pessimists can learn to be optimists.”
Optimism is not just a feel-good strategy. When we focus our attention on our innate character strengths (wisdom, courage, compassion) and all we have, rather than our perceived failures and what we don’t have, we boost not only our moods, but our immune system and success levels as well. Research has shown that optimistic people tend to be healthier and experience more success in life.
To alter our lives—and the challenges we face—we must first recognize what we say to ourselves when we experience a setback. By breaking what Seligman calls the “I give up” pattern of thinking and changing our interior negative dialogue, we can encourage optimism.
Practicing “spiritual optimism” is another way to improve the quality of our lives. Joan Borysenko, author of Fire in the Soul: A New Psychology of Spiritual Optimism, suggests that we remember that it takes courage to live, and that we can find that courage by facing our fears, finding support and using prayer or meditation. Again, it’s not really our lives that depress us but our thinking about our lives.
So unless Anthony can begin to change his thinking, his life may not change. Barbara, however, likely will graduate to even more satisfying and fulfilling years ahead because she believes her life is filled with challenges and opportunities.
Who do you want to be in your life and business? How do you maintain an outlook of optimism?
There is not a day that goes by that we are not leading in some part of our life. Whether it’s as a professional, a business person, a parent or a community member, someone is listening and watching or that we are interacting with and therefore we are leading.
As discussed last week, curiosity is a quality that can bring life, relationships and business to a new level. Curiosity can create new experiences and connections as well as improve communications. So often when we shut off our curiosity, we miss opportunities that could help us get out of potential negative or “complacent” patterns and possibly shift into something more aspiring and meaningful.
Perhaps some of you grew up being warned “curiosity killed the cat” or were told it was rude or that you would get into trouble like Curious George for asking questions. Curiosity has been given a bad rap. 
Do you consider yourself a leader? What kinds of results are you getting as a leader in the different aspects of your life? 
We hear often about the practice of gratitude as a tool for happiness. Long-term studies support gratitude’s effectiveness, suggesting that a positive, appreciative attitude contributes to greater success in work, greater health, peak performance in sports and business and a higher sense of well-being. 
Part of leading, whether in your family or at work, is knowing how to really listen and motivate others around you. Motivating your team, or family members, is imperative to the well being ofthe team and the accomplishment of the goal. While motivating others isn’t always easy, there are ways you can help to unleash the power and potential of others. 
Too often in leadership we do not communicate our purpose and goals to others we are working with, but instead leave them unsure what to do and how to do it. This results in hesitation, indecision, lack of performance and miscommunication in the workplace. In the home/relationships outside of work, a lack of clarity also results in misinterpretations and unmet needs which can drive a huge crevice in the relationship. 
It’s the beginning of a new year and this is a great time to reset and make some new choices for 2014! Your CHOICES CAUSE RESULTS.
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